The Power of Finding (or Creating) a Supportive Community
Why Connection is Essential for Personal Reinvention
"We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone—we find it with another." ~ Thomas Merton
Personal reinvention can feel like a solitary path. But the truth is, we rarely transform alone. The people we meet, the spaces we enter, the invitations we say yes to become the connections that shape who we become.
Some of the most life-shifting decisions don’t feel monumental when we make them. They often begin as small nudges, impulses we almost brush off. A friend’s invitation, a playful curiosity, a weekend plan we say yes to without overthinking.
In retrospect, though, we see that those “random” choices were anything but.
A Dance Class That Opened a Door
Years ago, I signed up for a dance workshop on a whim. I was craving movement, something different, something new and fun. What I didn’t expect was to fall in love with the experience, and to keep going back, week after week, year after year. That one fun diversion turned into a seven-year passion, a community of good friends, and countless joyful memories.
What kept me there wasn’t just the dancing. It was the shared laughter, the way we learned to move in rhythm with one another, the feeling of belonging that grew in those mirrored studios.
It reminded me that play and creativity can be a powerful pathway to connection—and that showing up for fun is sometimes what opens the deepest doors.
A Weekend Retreat, and a Path Reimagined
Another turning point came when my dear friend Melinda — someone I met through the dance community — and I were dreaming up ways to combine our shared love of mindfulness, movement, and creativity. We were both exploring self-care practices, so we signed up for a weekend meditation retreat at The Mindfulness Center, led by its founder, Debbie. At the time, it seemed like a good way to nourish ourselves personally while offering the potential to spark new inspiration for our future offerings.
But it became so much more than that.
That retreat brought me back into connection with Debbie, someone I had known while I was in graduate school. We had shared the same PhD advisor, although some years apart, and now here we were again, meeting not in a lab, but in a quiet room filled with meditation cushions, on the threshold of a very different kind of learning.
What seemed like a simple reconnection quietly rearranged the course of my life. That one moment opened the door to the meditation teacher training, which would deepen my personal practice, reshape my worldview, and eventually lead me to leave my government job and devote myself fully to this path.
The Magic of a Supportive Container
As my meditation teacher training unfolded, it became one of the few places where I felt truly seen and safe — where I could show up without shrinking or shaping myself to fit in. Those weekend retreats were the highlight of my month and, by contrast, made it impossible to ignore the parts of my life where I didn’t feel fully expressed.
Arriving on Friday nights, I’d stake out my little corner and create my nest: yoga mat, meditation chair, pillows and blankets, and drop into a rhythm that felt like home. There was a quiet excitement in the air: greeting fellow trainees, settling into practice, learning the science behind the techniques we were embodying. We shared stories, insights, fears, and breakthroughs. Deep truths emerged. I wasn’t just learning how to teach meditation; I was remembering who I was and learning how to belong.
By contrast, the rest of my life started to feel misaligned. I could see more clearly the places where I was shrinking, censoring, or striving. The pull toward this new path grew stronger, until what once felt like a radical leap — leaving my job and stepping into a different life — became the most natural next step.
Those weekends weren’t just training sessions. They were portals into a new way of being. A way of living rooted in connection, curiosity, and presence.
It became crystal clear: I wanted to create spaces like that for others. Places of connection and safety. Places where people could explore who they’re becoming, and to come home to themselves.
Why Community Matters for Reinvention
We often think of personal growth as something deeply individual — an inner journey, a private reckoning. And it is those things. But it’s also deeply relational.
We become who we are through our connections. We are witnessed, challenged, supported, and inspired by others. The right community reminds us of who we are becoming, even when we forget.
The community I found in that training — spacious, supportive, soul-deep — was unlike anything I’d experienced before. And it didn’t end when the training did. It became the seed for the circles I’m part of now, and the kinds of spaces I try to create for others. All of it, in a way, began with that first weekend and the people I met there.
In moments of transition or reinvention, it’s especially easy to feel alone. Old roles fall away. Familiar rhythms shift. What once felt certain dissolves.
That’s when connection becomes not just helpful, but essential.
We’re Wired for Belonging
And there’s a reason it feels that way. Our nervous systems are wired for relationship.
As Stephen Porges illuminates through Polyvagal Theory, co-regulation is a biological imperative, it’s how we survive and thrive. We attune to one another through cues of safety: a kind tone of voice, a soft gaze, the presence of a calm body. Prosody, facial expression, gentle touch are all ancient signals that whisper you’re safe here.
We heal in connection. We remember who we are in the presence of others who see us clearly.
And when the right conditions are present, when the container is warm and real and open, we don’t just change. We flourish.
Ways to Find or Build a Supportive Network
If you’re in a time of change, or simply longing for deeper connection, here are a few steps to explore:
Start with curiosity — curiosity helps us get out of our comfort zones and more likely to explore new things.
Follow what feels alive — even if it seems unrelated to your goals. A movement class, a writing group, a community garden. Let joy be your guide.
Say yes to invitations — even (especially) when you feel hesitant. That one event might introduce you to your next mentor, friend, collaborator, or passion.
Initiate — if you’re craving connection, chances are someone else is too. Host a small gathering. Invite a neighbor for coffee. Reach out to someone whose work you admire.
Seek out spaces that feel safe to be fully yourself — whether it’s a workshop, a spiritual community, a peer circle, or a support group, notice where you feel seen, not just productive.
Invest in the relationships that nourish you — send the message. Make the call. Show up. Community isn’t built overnight, but it’s built through moments of presence and care.
Reflection Prompt
What kind of support are you craving right now?
What kind of support do you most need right now—and what might it look like to ask for or invite it in?
You might want to journal about this, or even write a list of people you feel drawn to reconnect with.
And what might help you take one small step toward it?
When I think back on these moments — the dance class, the reconnection with Debbie, who became my mentor, colleague, and friend, the meditation teacher training — I see now that none of them were random. Each one carried the seed of something much larger: a path, a purpose, a community.
The places I once sought out for healing and belonging have become the very spaces I now hold for others. The joy I found in shared movement, the gratitude and safety I felt in teacher training, the quiet knowing that I wasn’t alone — these are the threads I now weave into my work.
Reinvention doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in relationship with others, with ourselves, and with the larger rhythms that guide us when we’re willing to listen.
Let’s Build This Together
If you’ve found a community or resource that’s been meaningful on your path, I’d love to hear about it.
Feel free to share in the comments. Or reply and introduce yourself if you’re seeking connection with others navigating reinvention.
The space we’re co-creating here is meant to be a soft landing place. A reminder that transformation doesn’t have to happen in isolation.
You’re not alone. And you were never meant to be.
Additional Resources:
I’m super excited to be offering an 8-Week Mindfulness for Stress Management series through The Mindfulness Center! Learn evidence-based practices to reduce stress, build resilience, and reconnect with a sense of calm and clarity. Perfect for beginners and seasoned practitioners alike. Learn more and register here.
For a deeper dive, consider one-on-one sessions. Founding Members get exclusive discounts on sessions. Check out my offerings here.
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This is so timely & exactly the guidance I’m seeking this week. The organization I worked for began threatening layoffs in January and this past Tuesday they made good on their plan. I, along with thousands of coworkers, were laid off. I’m thankful that the anxiety of an impending layoff is over & I’m looking forward to my new community. Watching how poorly they handled the situation solidifies that I’m glad I am no longer working there. Thank you Aurora for sharing your story & for the journaling prompt.